Let Me Finish

Writing is the best way to talk without being interrupted.

– Jules Renard 

Several years ago, I was given the opportunity to have the attention of some two or three hundred individuals. It was an experience I had had four times before for the same event. But this year was the year I had something to say.

It was a church year-in-review slideshow video that put music to photos that everyone had taken at all the church’s events throughout the year.

And after having spent a whole year learning of the twisted-up events and dealings concerning a situation I was not a part of but was greatly personally affected by, I had center stage with the last year-in-review slideshow.

To my knowledge, they haven’t made any year-in-review videos since I left. So, I documented the last five years of church history in year-in-review slideshows. Point being, this was the last one ever. And I had total creative control. This was it. The last one. And I had final say.

I was a quiet, shy, little nobody in the church up until 2013. And within the last month and a half of the year and on an absolute last-minute notice, I had created a video that usually a year was taken to create by my predecessors.

And to think that this great journey of documenting church history would end on one of the most epic years of my life where I would almost literally and rather definitively get the last word and my only word on the subjects of 2017 always knocks me back.

On New Year’s Eve, 2013, I had the attention of about two hundred to three hundred people. It was exhilarating what happened that night.

But the main idea, to get back to Jules Renard’s quote, was that I had the attention I needed to say what I wanted to say and NOT be interrupted; not being interrupted being an experience “my side” had experienced much that year. And that whole experience was just an anecdote to further my point about writing.

With writing, you don’t get the opportunity to witness the reactions and feelings of all those who read your work (especially at the time of reading it). Even the reaction where the reader just up and puts down whatever you wrote out of boredom (don’t forget, maybe they just aren’t into the genre you’re writing in or they don’t feel the information applies to them).

I have lived a life so far, I know, of being interrupted and not being listened to. Come to think of it, very recently for a while now, I’ve experienced talking and talking and talking whilst knowing all the while that no one was listening to me. And I talked and talked because I was highlighting the fact that no one was listening to me. Because by the time they heard me… I was finished. And they realized. I was talking. And they were ignoring. And for some reason… I was at fault.

Certain people have affects on the other people in my life to the point where my opinion or whatever I have to say couldn’t matter less to them as long as the other person is in the room or is the subject of conversation despite not being there.

That all might be confusing. But if you slow down and just take it easy and read it all over again. I know, I know. It’s hard. But try it. Try reading that paragraph twice. Try doing something twice.

Anyway.

I experience being ignored rather regularly. And being ignored isn’t the same as being interrupted, but it’s pretty much the same thing. Being interrupted just involves listening for my hearers. Being ignored involves less listening for my hearers.

I also deal with people who in the past didn’t want to deal with my habitual storytelling way of informing them of daily goings-on. They just wanted it straight. And I’ve learned to give it straight so as not to aggravate.

But being trampled on via being ignored and interrupted, I will not tolerate.

Which is one of the reasons I write. Because “writing is the best way to talk without being interrupted” (Jules Renard).

Sometimes it’s a cool feeling, knowing that I am a writer and I communicate best on the page. Other times, it can feel quite debilitating not being able to communicate effectively without the added use of premeditation and concentrated thought to clarify so as to send the most effective message. Especially when I’m at work (in a retail store) and time is usually of the essence.

With writing, I can get my point across better and more clearly and am less likely to send a different message because of my hopes of condensing my message so as to be more efficient. And no one can say… “yeah, yeah, yeah… whatever, Sam. Anyway!”

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